Our media culture is clanging with conspiracy theories. A sense of betrayal by the highest authorities haunts us. We feel a premonition that the powers who pretend to protect and guide us are actually misleading us: powers of government, religion, the military, the corporation, the guru, the coach. Never before have we distrusted institutional authority more.
Yet our distrust of authority may be a sign that we are awakening from a long sleep. These conspiracy theories may reflect the intuition of a deeper, more inward betrayal
. Conspiracy theories are projected shadows of an interior deception, the conspiracy of our own mind to deceive us.
Yes, our own mind, upon whom rests our science, our education, our jurisprudence; this very mind who claims to watch over us, warn us of danger, guide us to truth; this mind we call our intelligence, actually conspires to lead us further and further
away from the truth we seek!
The mind hates truth. This is the real crisis, the origin of every other: economic, environmental, or political. The mind's very nature is to deceive us whenever we defer to its authority, which we have been doing now for centuries. The mind invariably cons us into searching and seeking: into searching elsewhere for what is right here, seeking anywhere for truth but where it actually is, in the heart of Presence.
Truth is always already at rest as our very being: this is what our mind does not want us to know. Why does the mind hate truth? Because truth is the end of the mind's dominion over us, the silencing of thought.
When our attention finally comes to rest in Presence, there is nothing more for the mind to seek, and no more work with which it can struggle. The mind's very identity is the importance of struggle, the affirmation of lack, the need to find something
else. When the lack is filled and the need to find is snuffed out by Presence, the mind feels robbed of its identity. In the dawning of Presence, the mind senses annihilation. Of course, this is precisely when the mind becomes a useful tool for practical problem solving. But our mind does not want to be a tool. Once having tasted control, it became the ego, and would not relinquish its power over us. Just as dictators, priests, generals, and money-lenders fear losing power over us, so our mind desperately fears that if we rest in Presence, it will lose control.
We need not fear the power of generals, popes and corporations. We had better concern ourselves with a deeper, more insidious power: the power we give our own mind when we imagine that thinking will lead us to happiness.
Surely, you have had moments of home-coming, Om-coming to now. Moments when your soul no longer needed thought. Moments when your awareness flared up as a pure blue flame of Presence, burning away past and future in an instant, like balls of cotton touched by a spark. Magnificently grounded in the commonplace, your awareness became free from memory, worry and desire: this is precisely what your mind does not want you to experience.
Yes, for a brief instant, subtler than a feather brushing a bubble, you
felt at home in a world that was whole, where spirit and matter collapsed into a unity, where heaven and earth collapsed into a radiance, with no name. Presence has no name because it can only be lived. While you name it, Presence has already moved on.
We have all had such nameless moments of grace. But almost immediately the mind tricks us again, casting us out of Eden, out of the garden that is always now. The ever-twisting serpentine mind, who loves to entangle us in the Tree
of Knowledge - knowledge of good and evil, past and future, above and below - seduces us into a journey away from the center of the garden, away from the Tree of Life, toward a future we will never find, for it is never present.
The moment we center down in this dynamic stillness, and our search dissolves in the holy quietness whose edgeless circumference expands forever, the mind shouts, "No! This is too easy! You're not working hard enough. You must
struggle to find truth. It's a long
journey. You must climb
higher. And this journey requires me: endless thought! Besides, you are
unworthy. Tranquility is only for saints and gurus. You have not yet
earned the right to give up the quest."
Aren't these the themes of our self-doubt, the themes of which we continually
re-mind ourselves? Struggle, journey, ascent, unworthiness, and the requirement to earn happiness rather than receive it. Are these not the perennial themes that seduce us into a never-ending pilgrimage of discontent, led by the mind?
There is only one crisis, after all. Not a crisis of the economy, or the government, or war, or environmentalism, but a crisis inside us: whether to live in the Kingdom of Presence, or remain vassals under the reign of the mind, who conspires against our liberation, to lead us on a fruitless journey away from our true home, here, where seeking dies and wonder is born.