3/13/2015

Does AM Need An I?

When we say, I Am, does the verb need a subject? Does Am need I?

To this question, one answers: ‘Yes, because an observer is required.’

Another replies: ‘No! You don't need an observer. The identification of pure consciousness with mind creates an I, and this I is confounded with consciousness. When the identification ceases, then there is pure consciousness but no I. Everything - objects, thoughts, feelings - remain as they are, but there is no I to claim these phenomena for itself. Then there is witnessing without a witness. For example, we say, "It is raining." But what “it” does the raining? There is no “it” that rains. Just raining.’

Both answers are correct.

Existence celebrates existence by observing its Self, delighting in its Self. Thus existence produces an I as its agency of Self-Delight.

This glorious dance of Self-observation is not a problem or a cause of ignorance. One dances as Two through the agency of a momentary I, and I am merely the play of consciousness with it Self.

The problem arises when I attempt to give myself duration, to fix I as a permanent construct, separate from what is observed.

Insisting on being a permanent I separates my life from the wholeness, the continuum of existence where subject and object are one field. That is when my suffering begins. I am haunted by the constant sense that something is broken, something is wrong, I am incomplete, I am a "sinner." And it is true: something is broken, for I have broken myself away from existence.

Why not let each momentary I be a snowflake, uniquely appearing, instantly dissolving? Can I be a sparkle of light on the ocean waves, dancing for this moment, then disappearing into radiance?

I am never one moment old. I keep dissolving like a spark into the fire. Yet the fire of the Self keeps dancing and generating new sparks of I. In this dance, there is absolutely no difference between creation and destruction.

That is Shiva's grace. Shiva becomes this sparkling I for an instant of perception, just to awaken again and recognize Himself through another. The dance of Shiva's Self-recognition and Self-annihilation is perpetual bliss, ananda.

Ananda is eternal, lasting less than an instant.

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