The Infinite Rose

At the moment of death we will experience a wild expansion of heart into pan-dimensional simultaneity, filled with terror, beauty, countless effervescent blessed and wrathful faces of divinity.
Yet we still have a choice: whether to know this moment as a motionless explosion of bliss, or the world's annihilation. This mind will desperately attempt to contract the experience of the heart into its outmoded concepts and stories. We will scroll through all the assumptions about time and space we inherited from the scriptures, from Aristotle, from Isacc Newton, from Wall Street, searching for some ratio, some measurement to describe what is happening. But in vain. Then, like Arjuna facing the thousand-headed Purusha-form of Krishna, this mind will panic and resort to its code-red labels: "system failure," "disaster," "the end," and finally: "death."

But all failure comes from the mind. The heart is too big to fail.

At that moment, how will you handle your mind? Doesn't this depend on how you handle it right now? Will that moment be any different than this moment? Plato tells us that philosophy is a rehearsal for dying. Don't ask the Virgin Mary to "pray for us now and at the hour of our death." It will be up to you to handle your own mind in that Last Judgment, when you will judge yourself.

Will you once again mistake the words and images of this mind for your actual Being, entrapping your heart's warm seed in another sarcophagus of stony fear, leading to another birth? Or will you allow a falling, a naked plunge, a surrender into the eternal abyss of the momentary crisis, labeling your fall not "failure" but "grace"?

Do it now! Did you think that meditation was some comfortable New Age daydream? No, friend, meditation is rehearsal for the deathless splendor and terror of eternity. This very moment you can sink into your annihilation. It feels like grief, loss, or emptiness; but even so, let go and plummet through the darkest vortex of becoming. This is real courage. Feel it all, to the last drop of darkness: then feel the silence that feels it.

At the center of your heart, in the deepest loss, is a portal to boundless Radiance. For darkness is not the opposite of light. Darkness is the womb of light.

Prepare now for so-called "dying." It may come sooner than you think; not only to you but to all humanity, as a collective moment of transformation.

The Chosen People choose themselves, when Eternity extends her invitation to step across that threshold, through the portal of the heart, into the Infinite Rose.


Loafer said...


Colleen Loehr said...

Powerful...thank you.