Only One of Us Burns in Hell

There seem to be two in each one of us: a lower self and a higher Self, the I and the Am.

I arise as a tiny wave on the ocean of Am. The peak of the wave is I, yet at its base, this wave is the whole ocean. As wave surrenders to sea, it becomes the sea. Yet the sea loves to play, and it becomes the wave. There is no conflict between the sea and the wave: they are one. Conflict arises only when the wave thinks that it is other than the sea. This thinking takes many forms, but no more deceptively than when it takes a "spiritual" form.

The wave maintains its separation from the sea through "spiritual practices", or through proclaiming its unworthiness and sinfulness. When God hears us repeating mantras, God giggles. When God hears us confessing sins, God laughs uproariously.

But when we are silent, God whispers from deep inside. Deep within, I hear the ocean murmur to the wave, "Just settle down." When the wave of I hearkens to the sea-voice, I rest and remember who I Am.

Yet the very moment my wave settles into the sea, I become agitated, sensing death. I fear annihilation in the sea of Am. Fear stirs me up again. I insist on doing something to maintain the illusion of separateness. "If I settle into the ocean, I will lose myself and drown!" So I tread water. I repeat mantras. I pray to be forgiven. I keep churning myself up into the infinitesimal peak of a tiny wave. I may call this rhythmic churning a "spiritual practice", but it is just the drowning ego's trick for survival.
On the verge of drowning, my last survival strategy is to inflate my unworthiness. "Who am I to become One with God? After all, I'm a sinner. I'm unworthy!" The sinner's ego never rises so high from the sea as when it proclaims its unworthiness!
God says, I Am. The soul says, I Am. There may be an infinite number of I's, but there cannot be more than one Am. My Am is God's Am. The Am cannot burn in hell. But I burn in hell whenever I feel unworthy, and by unworthiness maintain my separation from God. There are two of me: I and Am. But only one of us burns in hell.
Let the soul rest in God. Let the wave surrender to the sea. Let the sea play in eternally fresh, recreated waves of itself.

Let me rest, let me surrender. But what shall I surrender? Let me surrender my God-damned unworthiness!