Uradiance

Between outbreathing and inbreathing is an instant Bindhu of emptiness smaller than a quark. A portal to the un-created, pouring forth  suns of the Most High in petaled tiers,  braided hosts of galaxies, spiraled hierarchies of angels untamed, feral creatures of dark energy more vast than supernovae plunging through waves of the void on fins of fire, bearing gifts of awful loveliness, the faces of children about to be born on a new earth. I drown in this hollow between breaths  because I am not afraid of loss,  of annihilation, of beauty. And I know it is a place deeper inside me than I Am. I gaze into the gaze that creates me, an amethyst resting in a flame that burns at the center of the golden rose in my chest. Here is where I keep the name  of the Friend a secret, in my heartbeat. Yet this rhythm ripens everything, giving life to all who walk on two legs or f...

Entering into the mystery of your heartbeat, don't be anyone,  don't do anything, don't even believe.  Just sink from the mind into the secret empty cavern of prayer  inside your chest, and let separation dissolve.  When you have abandoned all hope, meet the Friend,  who is nearer to you than you are to yourself. 

You asked me to drop every concept of 'Other' and 'God,' so I did. Then I abandoned ‘Trauma' and 'Embodiment' too. Love is not a story. Now I sink into the infinite physiology of light, my true flesh. This stillness in my chest is an unbroken pour. It doesn’t flow from 'there' to 'here,' but quivers in the void, a braid of black lightning. The taste is beyond name, thought, and breath. I call it sweet wine, but that is the language of fools and lovers whose tale has drowned in silence. I will never know who tilted fullness toward emptiness and made the starry rim of this cup overflow with a wonder no longer called 'me.' But I still say 'thank you, Friend.' I still ask, 'Was there a journey in that pour? Or have I always already arrived at the Tavern of Awakening?'     Painting by Mahmoud Farshchian