The only thing we can be sure of is that we will never find what we are searching for.
Why? Because we are searching for that contentment which brings an end to the search. And as long as we are searching, we suffer the craving to become what we are not.
Our very search is what Buddha called Dukkha, usually translated as "suffering." But Dukkha is not abject pain. It is something more subtle and insidious: a restlessness of mind, an itch in the neurons, a brain feverish with wanting. And this nervous tension hides behind every spiritual search.
Our true goal is not to find anything, but to dissolve the gnawing, the craving to become something else. Where is "else"? Else does not exist. Else has no being. Only when we dissolve this craving can we awaken to what actually Is. Only then can our ceaseless becoming flower as Being. This flowering requires the courage to rest in hopelessness.
Have you noticed? When you fail, or lose, or come to the end of a relationship, you are disappointed. Your appointment with time is over. Our culture teaches us to be ashamed of this condition, and to identify disappointment with shame and suffering. But in truth, disappointment is a marvelous window, an opportunity to be free.
Be dis-appointed. Drop out of time. In dis-appointment is eternity. If we clearly observe our dis-appointment, we find relief, rest, and the space of boundless possibility. We find an opening to the Unknown.
An enlightened culture would not tell us to be ashamed of failure, and would not force us to take up a new search. An enlightened culture would advise, "Just rest here for awhile. Embrace your hopelessness and be open. Be free from the search. There are spores of possibility floating all around you. Watch, listen, be empty and fertile, until some unexpected miracle takes root in you."
Out of human hopelessness comes divine carelessness. In freedom from care comes playfulness. From play comes the flowering of creativity. The only fertile ground is the present moment.
These hopelessly inspired thoughts emerged from a failed poem.
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