Think Globally, Act Like a Gorilla

 

I'm too dense to get the environmentalist motto, “Think globally, act locally.” So here's mine: "Think globally, act like a gorilla."

Naturally in tune with their environment, Gorillas hardly think at all. They avoid higher education and lead a sustainable green lifestyle without credit cards or student loans. Because Gorillas aren't ashamed of being naked, they don't go shopping. They consume little water because they rarely, if ever, wash their hair.

Sticking to their homeland, gorillas gently mind their own business. They won't invade and occupy another animal's habitat. When gorillas want to strut, they just strut, without putting on uniforms and eating each other.

Gorillas slowly munch fresh vegetables, poop often, and shun paper products. They have no need for jet fuel, cosmetic surgery, or Gortex.

Gorillas neither whine about taxes nor demand entitlements. They don't care whether the frigging stock market goes up or done. And when a gorilla dies, he doesn't spend a million dollars on artificial life-support. He just dies.

Gorilla economics is based on trust, not debt. No money is required. Gorillas do not establish corporations. They form worker-owned cooperatives.

Avoiding politics and religion, gorillas practice what humans only preach.

But like many quiet gentle species, gorillas are nearly extinct. We should learn from them while we can, because they will never return.

In fact, we might learn how to dwell peacefully on this planet from all sorts of animals and plants, before we too disappear.