Numerology 101 (Which is Actually 2)

"1 is the most intolerant of numbers." ~David Albert

1 is intolerant.
2 is conflicted.
3 is condescending.
4 is stubborn and overweight.
5, like Hamlet, thinks too much.
6 shows up at the mall in her curlers.
7 is stuffed with esoteric gibberish.
8 wears too much bling bling.
9 can do the full lotus but is only pretending
not to have thoughts during meditation.
I invite them all for a weekend at my
ancestral beach house in the Hamptons,
unaware that one is a murderer
(that is not a clue).
Saturday morning, we find 6's body
naked in her bed, evidently poisoned.
She never did put on any make-up.
To solve the crime we call in Zero,
who acts like a nerd but knows everything.

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