Feast

 

Yesterday was the Christian Feast of the Ascension (May 29). A radiant day. Yet today is even more radiant than yesterday, for our light is ever expanding. Perhaps we could call this day after the Feast of Ascension, the Feast of Alignment. For this is the day when I ascend into Am, when you ascend into You, when we ascend into our true Christ Self. There is so much Light pouring into the world, through Grace. The old order is passing away.

Ah, but "Christ Consciousness" is not the end of the story, only the beginning... I have been drawn mysteriously to the fragrance of the name of Jesus for decades. The power and magnetism of his name has not diminished as I somehow evaporated into a more and more "cosmic" awareness. Quite the contrary. As I've continued to practice transcendental meditation over 55 years, the radiance and warmth emanating from my chest has grown more and more personal, until I have come to recognize this heart-glow as the friendship of Jesus. 

I don't want to be One with my friend, I want to be Near him. I don't want to Merge with my friend, because then he isn't there. I want my friend to walk beside me on the labyrinth path, where every step on our way takes us to the center. This unfolding of a personal relationship with the Friend has been a much richer and sweeter fruit of spiritual practice than any "advaitic" or "cosmic" consciousness could ever be. Through the gentle presence of Jesus, and the breath of his Spirit, Mary, I have come to cherish devotional friendship much more than "non-duality."

Friendship with others is not possible until I become my own best friend. And through friendship with God, I make friends with me. 

I sink into the warmth of my heart, and rest in the light of God's love. Only then do I have some inkling of who I really Am. Inner radiance of the heart emanates from the un-created source of all energy, the black hole at the core of my Being. This is the cosmic night from which the earth is born, described in Genesis 1 as "formless and void." Important as it is to tap into this primordial source, its ultimate purpose is expression, creation, and fruition. "Be fruitful and multiply" is the first commandment. To bring abundance out of no-thing, a thousand fruits out of one seed, the dancing out of stillness: this is the Why of creation. The source may be one, but the glory is multiplicity. This is why so-called "advaitists" often seem so frozen. They get stuck in non-duality. The One needs to dance with a partner, and be Two.

 I am here for relationship. And I cannot relate to the Divine as a mere energy-field of cosmic formlessness. That is no relationship. I relate to the Divine as a Friend, a Beloved, a feral partner in the swirling entanglement of the Rasa dance. Remember, at the Rasa Lila in the garden of Vrindavan, Krishna multiplied himself into a hundred different Krishnas, to dance with a hundred Gopi girls. And remember what Jesus said, "In my father's house are many mansions."

Even the darkest ember has an inner glow deep inside, yearning to ignite another. When I draw close to that ember, its flame springs up and ignites me. It is not darkness meeting darkness, but the fire of darkness enlightening the night with a trillion stars. I Am not only the un-created darkness, I Am a dancing flame, here on earth to ignite others. We are not abstractions longing to return to emptiness. We are persons of flesh.

I want to be a fleshy person. And my my living ideal of the fleshy person on earth is Jesus. If your ideal is an ancient Tibetan yogi sitting in a mountain cave, then be like that. If your life-pattern is a half-jaguar shaman in the Amazonian jungle, hallucinating on mushrooms and Åyahuaska, then have a fruitful trip. If your model is the Guru, sitting on a flower-bedecked dais, surrounded by thousands of chanting worshipers, while Vedic pundits offer incense to his lotus feet, then I wish you well as you try to integrate that into this hot mess of ordinary human existence. But as for me, I look for God in anonymous sacraments of the commonplace - a man on a dusty road, walking side by side with Mary, his companion, reaching out to touch and bless the village children who run out to greet him. Selah.

                                         * * * 

For many years I tried to separate Jesus from Christ. I immersed myself in Christ-Consciousness, assuming that Jesus was a mere human form, and a truly enlightened yogi would no longer be interested in such an idol, carved out of tribal stories and old books.

Yet I was haunted by cosmic loneliness, even as I transcended my body, even as I tasted wonders of "non-duality." My soul longed for a Friend. And much as I admire the sweetness of an avatar like Krishna, I am not surrounded by peacocks and Gopi girls. The garden of Vrindavan is not my culture. Much as I admire the Tibetan yogi Milarepa, or the tranquil smile of Gautama Buddha, or the hypnotic, often ravishing presence of Gurudev, I am really seeking something far less ecstatic. After all, "ecstasy" literally means "standing outside" one's self. I don't need a state outside myself. I need a quiet constant center. I need a humble chamber in the heart, where I can rest in the presence of the Friend.

                                   * * * 

Yes, I Am formless Being, witnessing creation from the vantage of the uncreated silence. But I am also here, on earth, to incarnate Being in form. To dance. And no one can dance like Me. No one can dance like You. Let us celebrate our fleshy personhood. Let us become ordinary.

Yes, when I need to refresh my energy, I practice meditation, returning to the cosmic source. I listen to the Seed Christ within me. Dissolving in divine silence, I Am infinite. Being infinite, I pervade creation. Thus I Am also infinitesimal. I Am countless sparkling particles of consciousness, each a logos, a spark of Christ. And this energy of the cosmic Christ is star stuff, the dust of creation, the intergalactic nectar of love. And though formless, it is never impersonal. The love of Christ in-gathers the eternal past, and the farthest stars of hope, into a singularity, bending the arc of time toward inevitable beauty, justice, and peace. Yes, Christ Consciousness has been my experience in meditation for many years. Yet it is only half the Gospel...  

                                   * * * 

Christ Consciousness is the inhalation of God, but not the exhalation. It rises from my belly to my crown, a held breath in the space above my body, in-gathering starlight. Yet life is not holding our breath, it is breathing out as well. The breath of life out-flows again, permeating every nerve cell, every fiber of muscle, every capillary of blood, infusing intergalactic fire into this body of flesh, until this exhalation is emptied out completely. 

This emptying of breath washes the mind clear and empties the self as well. It is the pattern of Jesus offering himself, as described by an ancient hymn in chapter two of Paul's Epistle to the Philippians. Many scholars believe this short poem to be the most ancient text in the New Testament, perhaps the earliest artifact of Christian worship.

The poem describes how Christ became human in order to become divine. Incarnate in Jesus in order to be transcendent in the Godhead. This text uses one of the most important words in the entire scripture, yet it is hardly mentioned in our culture, even from the church pulpit. This term is the verb-form of the Greek word, Kenosis, "self-emptying." 

I empty myself when I become a servant. I empty myself when I give up my status in the hierarchy to take the lower rank. I empty myself when I breathe out. Thus the implicit connection between meditation and community. I breathe out everything I thought I was, to become what I Am. I let go of status and title, to become ordinary, for the sake of compassion. Compassion for myself as well as for my neighbor. I ascend only in descending, attain mastery only through servant-hood, rise to God by falling to humanity. So Christ Consciousness empties itself and pours into a human form. This is the anointing of Jesus...

"Who, being in very nature God,
 did not consider equality with God 
 something to be used to his own advantage,
but emptied himself and made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
made in human likeness...
Therefore God exalted him to the highest,
and gave him the name that is above every name."
~Philippians 2: 6-9 

No Jesus without Christ, no Christ without Jesus. 

                                                      * * * 

I breathe in the Holy Spirit, mingling the glittering wheels of the universe, the swirling galaxies of cosmic night, with every particle of my body. In that ringing silence I hear the divine name, "Christos!" Then I breathe out, I empty myself as oblation, pouring all that I Am into my heart, that humble valley just beneath my breastbone, between this breath and the next, between one creation and another, where the new earth is born, anointed by pure consciousness. Kenosis, self-emptying at the depth of exhalation, the end of the world... and the beginning. "For if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away: behold, all has become new!" (2 Corinthians 5: 17)  

So be it. Ameen. At the end of the breath, in the secret ground of the heart's silence, where the earth is born afresh, I drop the seed of Christ's most human name, "Jesus."

Detail from Fra Angelico's 'Madonna Delle Ombra'