"Chaos" is the ever-unfolding, spontaneously perfect order that my mind can never comprehend.
The effort to control this chaotic sea of perfectly incomprehensible order is all that is meant by "ego." And to quit this striving for control is "dropping the ego." It is no apocalypse or cosmic event, just a melting away of self-imposed boundaries: like discovering that I am pinching myself in my sleep, so I just wake up and stop pinching. The pain ceases. The parenthesis I've been inscribing in the air dissolves, because it was never there.
I was thrown into this crucible of earthly existence just to realize that there is no other recourse, no other freedom, no other salvation, but here and now, at the inmost veil of the intellect, to quit striving for control.
Then a full moon is a full moon.
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