"Her lamp does not go out at night."   ~Proverbs 31:18
I simply can't be always doing what I want, or wanting what I have to do. That is a magical childish dream. I actually don't have so much choice in what I 'do' at any given moment. Karma comes to me and I have to handle it, even when it isn't what I want right now.
I can't control the present moment, but I can establish my heart in Divine Love through meditation. Divine Love is the Witness to all doing, all karma, pleasant and unpleasant. Divine Love is prior to what I do. It is who I Am.
To rest awareness in the field of Divine Love, beyond doing and not-doing, is freedom. The only freedom. Then, though I can't always do what I love, I can love in the midst of whatever I do.
And Faith is to know that the time will come, through regular sadhana, when all I do on earth will be outshined by the kingdom of heaven within.
My heart is like the golden flame in the lamp of the world. I can't change the shape of the lamp, or make it bigger, or turn a brass lamp into a golden one. But I can keep the flame burning with each sacred breath, and shine. This is what matters.

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