Conspiracy Theory

 

Almost all conspiracy theories can be dispelled by applying the principle known as Hanlon's Razor: "Do not attribute to malice that which is more easily explained by stupidity." However, I admit to having my own conspiracy theory, and you may feel free to use it. For billions of years, in fact, from the birth of time, the black hole at the center of every galaxy, the gravity of each gazing star, the magnetism of each hydrocarbon and chloroplast, each photon of sunlight, proton of breath, and even the shyest colors in the meadow, like celadon and sage, have been conspiring to guide my atoms to this moment, this place, where I have no choice but to fall on my knees in the moss, to spread my arms like useless wings toward wind and sky, and now confess: "I don't know what the fuck is going on!" Then only am I capable of praying, "I'm sorry, forgive me, thank you, I love you." And thus the universe conspires to reduce me to perfect joy.