Conspiracy Theory

 

Almost all conspiracy theories can be dispelled by applying the principle known as Hanlon's Razor: "Do not attribute to malice that which is more easily explained by stupidity." However, I admit to my own conspiracy theory; feel free to borrow it. For billions of years, from the birth of time in fact, every black hole at the center of a galaxy, the gravity of each gazing star, the magnetism of every infinitesimal hydrocarbon and chloroplast, each photon of sunlight  and proton of breath, yes, even the shyest colors in the meadow, like celadon and sage, have been conspiring to guide my atoms to this very moment, where I have no choice but to fall on my knees in the dust, and spread my arms like useless wings toward wind and sky, and confess: "I don't know what the fuck is going on!" Only now do I have the capacity for prayer, whispering, "Thank you, I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you." Thus the universe conspires to reduce me to perfect joy.